How To Handle a Character's Thoughts

I recently received the following email question from one of the blog readers. Below is our exchange in case anyone else has the same question. As always, this is just my amateur opinion.

Hugh,
How do you show what a character is thinking in a novel? I don't want to write (he or she thought) every time. Can I place a character's thoughts in single quotation marks, and then place a character's words in the traditional double quotation marks?
Thanks

My first reply:

Joe,
All I can give you is my perspective. I think the best way is to shift seamlessly into the character's thoughts without attribution. In other words, allow the perspective to simply become closer to the character, reflecting thoughts as they happen. This can be tricky but it seems to be the best method of keeping the reader engaged. If you require a directly quoted thought, I would recommend italics followed by "he thought." I think that most often the simple method is best, just as "he said" is better than "he shouted." Writing "he thought" does not take the reader out
of the reading flow, which is the real goal. You want it to be invisible. Hope that helps some. Best of luck.
Hugh

Joe Responded:

So if a character is thinking, write their thoughts in italics?

I Replied:

Here are two examples. First is one where you are communicating thoughts without attribution.

Jake walked into the room slowly, guarded. The single bulb cast shadows across the table. The smell was strong and rancid. A dead animal? Or... no, probably just an animal.

He continued through the room.

The second one uses attribution.

Jake walked into the room slowly, guarded. The single bulb cast shadows across the table. The smell was strong and rancid.

A dead animal? Jake thought. Or... no, probably just an animal.

He continued through the room.

In my opinion, the version without attribution is better. As you read the passage, you more directly get the thoughts of the character without really noticing the deepening perspective. I am not saying that I really know how to do this well, but I definitely think it is the right approach when it is done well.

I see it as creeping perspective. You may start out with simple observations, more narrative description than written from a specific perspective. Then slowly, as the emotion needs to ramp up, you make it more clear that the perspective is from the character, maybe drawing in life experiences as part of the context for the current events. Finally, you begin to slip into the thought process, the emotions, and even some specific thoughts of the character. When done properly, the reader never realizes the shift is taking place, the reading flow is not broken, and at the same time the reader is becoming more emotionally connected to the events taking place, and to the character.

Hope this helps those of you struggling with this issue. If you have other opinions, please share them will us all in the comments.

Until next time, let's keep on writing.

www.jhughthomas.com
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How to Write Dialogue - Part 2

Last time was more general, about the different approaches to writing dialogue. Now I'll try to talk a little about some practical techniques. To me dialogue is one of the hardest things to write, so forgive me if my advice is less than stellar. However, if you have a hard time with dialogue, my tips may help some.

1) Be the character for while - This can be very embarrassing, but it is effective. For a period of time, pretend you are one of your characters. Do it while you make dinner, sort through the mail, and talk to your family. Before they haul you off to the loony bin, you might want to tell your family what you are doing. The point here is not to play out your dialogue, but to get into the head of your characters. After you live through some casual conversation and activity of your characters, you will be much more prepared to write dialogue that sounds true.

2) Role play with your friends and family - Once again, embarrassing but effective. The key here is to hear your dialogue out loud, spoken by different people who are interacting. This method makes it easy to find dialogue that just does not work, and it can also help you improvise new dialogue that is more organic.

3) Stop worrying about squeezing in your information - This is a tricky one. Obviously when writing a novel, you are trying to get information across to the reader and stir up emotion. If you focus on the information it can cause your dialogue to sound more like a school lecture, delivering that information. Use steps 1 and 2 to drive realistic dialogue. If you don't communicate everything you want to get across, consider some narrative with thoughts and reflections. If that doesn't work, start tinkering with the dialogue, but don't allow it to become stale.

Believe me, I want to write dialogue that jumps off the page and allows the reader to believe every word was really spoken by real characters. It may take months or years to get there, but the first step is to write it down, revise it, and make it as real as you can at this point. I try not to beat myself up for not being the king of dialogue, and neither should you. Just work on your craft along with me and see your work improve with time.

That's all for now. Until next time, let's keep on writing.

www.jhughthomas.com
www.myspace.com/jhughthomas

How to write dialogue

As usual, I write about the areas I struggle with the most. While reading back through my first draft, I have become keenly aware that my narrative passages far outweigh the dialogue. So here are my thoughts on what I'm doing wrong, and what I think I need to do about it.


1) Understand and accept your natural style - What I have noticed about my first draft is that as I am trying to tell the story that is in my head, or that is coming to me as I type, due to my natural style this comes out as narrative which is fine. Some people will naturally write a first draft with an abundance of dialogue and very little narrative. I think it is a matter of personal style and playing to your strengths when you are in creative mode.
2) Work twice as hard on the part that is not natural - For me that is dialogue, but for you it may be narrative passages. The important thing is that you don't just lean on your strength and leave the rest behind.
3) Dialogue provides insight you would hear in person - While narrative can show thoughts and feelings, dialogue is a much more effective way to show the personality of a character. Why? Because it is the way we interpret personality every day in real life. It is a skill that everyone has mastered, listening to voice and understanding sub-text. Showing personality through narrative is far less dynamic and engaging as well.
4) Narrative provides insights that you would see in person - I try to put myself in the character's place, walking down the street. What do I notice? What about the smells, sounds, and sights come to life? Narrative is a great place to explore these experiences.
5) Balance is key - This is a lesson I need to learn. When you read a well balanced page, it propels itself forward, flows to the reader, and keeps you involved. The dialogue and narrative text are weaved together in such a way that the story never becomes too stale or too wordy. I think it is an important goal to be conscious of balance because it may make the difference between a good story idea and a well crafted novel.

As usual, I continue to scour the internet for good resources to help me, and you, write our novels. I found a good post on Deep Genre titled How to Write a Novel (Part 1). It was written by two time author David Louis Edelman who is writing his third novel as I type. If you enjoyed part one as much as I did, you can followup with Part 2.

On my writing update, I worked through the movie script with my family and we hammered out a second draft. Still more work to do, but it is coming along. On the novel, as you can tell from this post, I am still reading through what I have written of the first draft to get me back into the characters and the plot. I am more than half-way through so hopefully I will be writing again in the next week or so.

Until next time, lets all keep on writing.

www.jhughthomas.com
www.myspace.com/jhughthomas